By Caroline Goldsmith ATC Ireland Psychology Published 2026

Losing someone you love is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. Grief is not a problem to be solved or a phase to be rushed through — it is a deeply personal process that unfolds differently for everyone. Whether you have lost a parent, a partner, a child, a friend, or anyone dear to you, your grief is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it.

Understanding Grief

Grief encompasses a wide range of emotions, and they rarely follow a neat, predictable pattern. You may experience profound sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, numbness, or even unexpected moments of relief or peace. These feelings can shift rapidly, arriving in waves that may be triggered by a song, a smell, an anniversary, or a random Tuesday afternoon. All of these responses are normal.

The popular idea of grief moving through five stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — can be helpful as a general framework, but it does not capture the reality of most people’s experience. Grief is not linear. You may feel you have reached acceptance only to be hit by a wave of raw sadness weeks or months later. This does not mean you are going backwards — it means you are human.

Physical Effects of Grief

Grief is not only an emotional experience — it affects the body profoundly. Fatigue, disrupted sleep, changes in appetite, headaches, chest tightness, and a weakened immune system are all common physical responses to bereavement. Some people describe feeling physically heavy, as if their body is carrying the weight of their loss. These physical symptoms are the body’s response to extreme emotional stress, and they deserve the same care and attention as the emotional aspects of grief.

Complicated Grief

For most people, the intensity of grief gradually softens over time. The loss never disappears, but it becomes more manageable, and life slowly rebuilds around the absence. However, for some individuals, grief becomes ‘stuck.’ This is sometimes called complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder, and it is characterised by persistent, intense longing for the deceased, difficulty accepting the loss, and an inability to re-engage with life even months or years later. Caroline Goldsmith has extensive experience supporting individuals through complicated grief, providing a safe therapeutic space where loss can be processed at a pace that feels right.

How to Support Yourself Through Grief

There is no formula for grieving well, but there are practices that can support you through the process. Allow yourself to feel whatever arises without judgement. Suppressing grief does not make it go away — it simply stores it for later. Talk about your loss with people you trust, and do not be afraid to share memories of the person you have lost.

Maintain basic self-care routines even when you do not feel like it. Eating regular meals, getting some fresh air, and keeping a simple daily structure can provide a sense of normalcy during a time of upheaval. Be gentle with yourself about productivity and expectations — grief takes enormous energy, and it is okay to do less than usual.

When to Seek Professional Help

While grief is a natural process, there are times when professional support is beneficial. If your grief feels unmanageable, if you are unable to function in daily life, or if you are using alcohol or other substances to cope, reaching out to a bereavement counsellor or psychologist can provide essential support. Caroline Goldsmith Psychologist offers compassionate bereavement counselling that honours the unique nature of each person’s loss while providing evidence-based support for healing.

Honouring Your Loss

Grief is, at its heart, a reflection of love. The depth of your pain speaks to the depth of your connection with the person you have lost. Over time, many people find ways to honour their loved one’s memory — through rituals, charitable acts, creative expression, or simply by carrying forward the values and lessons their loved one embodied.

There is no timeline for grief, and there is no finish line. But with time, support, and self-compassion, it is possible to carry your loss and still find meaning, joy, and connection in life. You do not have to navigate this journey alone.